Posting and Losing

It's been a while since my last post.  It's been a while since I last checked the blog.  And it's no coincidence that I also gained back 2 hard-lost pounds at the same time.  What had happened since my last post about anything and everything?

I got sloppy.  I got lazy.  I got bored.  I thought I had it pretty well figured out.  I knew the new pointsplus values for most of the every day foods I was eating.  I quit actively tracking.  I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's the truth.


What is it about some of us that we have a hard time with this?  It really isn't hard to do.  It doesn't take much time.  Yet, it's so easy to blow off.  And before you know it, you're out of the habit of doing it.  I think for me this time, I could pretty well keep track in my head.  I've been eating mostly the same things every day, so when I realized I hadn't actually tracked everything I ate that day, I knew where I was with my points anyway, and it didn't really matter much.  I've actually been lax about it since my daughter's birthday in February.  Yet since I was still losing a pound or two a week, I got cocky and too comfortable.  I started eating some of my favorite "forbidden foods", which was fine, till I slipped right back into my old habits.  Now I have uncontrollable carb cravings again, and I feel like I'm starving all the time.  And worst of all, I have to retrain myself to track everything.  And most of you know how hard it is to start doing it.  At least when you start WW the first time, you're excited and motivated.  But once you've made lifetime, gained it all back (plus some too), and started and stopped the program so many times, it takes a huge amount of desire, self-control, and motivation to really stick with it.  I question whether or not I have what it takes for me to stick with it this time, since there have been so many times I quit before reaching my goal before.


But, here I am, trying again.  Knowing that I can't be perfect at it, although I really want to be.  Knowing that I wont drop 5 pounds a week, that even 2 a week is a lot.  Frustrated that I let myself get this heavy, making it so far to go to get to where I should be.  But trying again anyway.  Trying to have faith in myself that I CAN do it.  That I WILL stick to it.  And I will start by making sure I go to my meeting next Tue night...